May 19, 2005
Dear Employer,
Please excuse Lauren Lee from work on Thursday, May 19. She is not feeling well. Lauren is at home in bed for the entire day, nursing what appears to be a serious hamster attack. Lauren's illness is in no way, shape or form related to the premiere of the final installment of the greatest story ever, which, coincidentally, premieres on the same date.
While I cannot confirm nor deny that Lauren has called my company, Geek Squad, asking to be set up with wireless access "in case of a space opera-related sick day" know that if you do receive an e-mail from your prized employee today, it is most likely because She was wise enough to plan ahead in the event of illness.
But as I mentioned before, Lauren is at home, safely in bed, but reachable (in dire emergencies) by e-mail or cell.
One more thing. Beginning at 12:03 a.m., Lauren Lee will be unreachable for about two hours, thirteen minutes and eleven seconds. She will be feeling really bad at this time.
Move along,
Robert Stephens
Geek Squad - Chief Inspector
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